What is wrong with me? Should I carry on seeing a psychiatrist or not?

Konstan

Hello,

So i've been seeing doctors for the past 2/3 years (i'm currently 14) or so now regarding self harm, and recently started visiting a psychiatrist (who i have visited once) at CAMHS. Over the course of the past year at the least, I've been showing symptoms of what you'd probably call a mental illness, or as I prefer, a mental disorder of type. I was self harming in March of 2012 - December 2012 then from March 2013 - September 2013 and recently relapsed.

I moved into a new house in late 2011, early 2012 (which i have again, moved recently) and i almost immediately showed absolute fear of the bedroom i was staying in for the first 2-4 days. BUT I am not saying this is at all to do with the house i was living in at the time since i had experienced the same at previous homes during earlier childhood.

Anyway, I started hallucinating, Auditory and visual hallucinations that is. While i was starting to develop these symptoms, they weren't very intense but as time went on, they were. I would hear two main voices, one was male, the other female. The female was nice to me, whereas the male was horrible, telling me to hurt myself and those around me, calling me worthless and stupid. As for the visual hallucinations, I would see shadows which nobody else had seen, I would see my little sister stood in my room with a blood-covered knife. She was asleep on the floor above me, so it couldn't have been 'real'.

My past contains early experience with bullying and friendship issues. My biological dad left me when I was weeks next to months old. My sister's biological dad (who also left, due to being sectioned) suffered from schizophrenia, not that there is a connection there, but that's always interesting, right? He would slit my mum's throat and try to kill her as well as himself.

An early memory I have always remembered is that whenever people were at my door, whether that be to bring post or to visit, I always saw a shadow man with a dog, they made me feel threatened and targeted. I always used to run faster than ever into the kitchen, where I would be found hidden underneath / behind furniture shaking. As a young child, I was already scared of my own life and the things I was seeing and nobody else was.

I've had some rather bad experiences during class, one time in french class, i was doing my work as i do and i suddenly started hearing the voices again. I suddenly felt the urge to cry but i kept it in, people were asking me what was wrong and i wrote "im sick of acting like everything is ok when its really...not" and i was then sent out of the classroom to see my school nurse then to see my school counsellor the next day. I also had an argument in p.e, which resulted in breaking down, being in tears and telling my teacher that "i cant do anything right so dont expect me to be able to play for this team".

Sorry if this has been long or confusing but i really need advice. My first doctor told me It was hormones, the second told me it was depression, the third, bipolar, the fourth and last schizophrenia / schizoaffective. When i saw the psychiatrist at CAMHS, she told me i had no mental disorder and we left it at that, i was upset because of my experiences and how someone could just tell me after all of these assumptions and ''diagnosis'' from other doctors, there was nothing wrong with me?

If you were in my shoes, would you carry on getting "help" and seeing the psychiatrist or not? I feel helpless and im on the edge of giving up looking for answers.

Note: I've considered suicide and lately i've been planning overdosing if that makes any difference.
I also have problems leaving the house, I will NOT leave the house unless it's absolute necessary. Otherwise, I will refuse to do so.

Answer
The last psychiatrist simply did not know what he/she was talking about. That sounds like schizoaffective or schizophrenia. There is no need to kill yourself at this point in your life as things can definitely get better. The average person does not suffer in the way you do which means that it is definitely a mental illness. Once you have the proper medication you will not have the auditory or visual hallucinations anymore and the strange feelings will go away. It's hard to believe but it will.

Society thinks that every part of our body can get sick, but not the brain? I am mentally ill and I thought it would never get better, but within a week of having the right medications my mood swings, rage attacks and racing thoughts were gone.

Once you're on an anti-psychotic drug, the chemical inbalance can be fixed and you can lead a normal life, so don't give up hope now. Go see a different psychiatrist and write out a clear list of your symptoms. When they started, what they are like, if you suffer depression/anxiety/mania, and your family mental illness history. Good luck.

Is it possible to have a low ejection fraction and feel great?

Eric

I am a 37yo male, smoked for 21 years (quit about 2 months ago). My heart rate at rest would sometime speed up to around 90-100BPM. I have also been a heavy drinker for about 5 years. I've decided it is time to clean things up, eat healthy, cut my risk factors and have things checked out.

I started excercising after the 1st of the year, 2012. I will also note that I am not new to excercise, I have done it, lifted weights, played racquetball my entire adult life. So, after I started excercising again, I feel great. My heart is not pounding anymore, I'm able to go strongly on the treadmill, bike and elliptical, keeping my heart rate around 130 for 20 minutes. I can also go harder for the last minute, topping around 180 if not a little more.

I went to my family doc early on, before the new year. They said I needed to see the cardiologist due to LOW heart rate. My resting heart rate, back when I was younger, excercising a lot, would drop into the 40s, and I felt fantastic. One of my friends also experiences this. So, things are getting better with excercise, but I still want to see the cardio and have the stress test done to check things out. During the test, it took me 11 minutes to get my heart rate up to 155bpm. He says that I show signs of a possible blockage and that he wants to run a cath. Also mentions signs of a low EF. OK, I haven't been exactly eating very healthy, so let's do this and get it fixed if necessary.

We run the cath and find no blockage but that my ejection fraction is around 30%. He's put me on meds, carvedilol 3.125mg 2x/day, lisinopril 10mg 2x/day, mexiletine 150mg 1x/day. I actually feel worse now that I've had this done than I did before. I am experiencing cough, some dizziness last night, and shortness of breath which I have NEVER experienced, even with all those years of smoking.

I work at the post office and have for 14 years, most of which is on a walking route, just to give a little more background.

I have already talked to one of the docs nurses, and she is going to talk to him. I am looking for some input from some experienced doctors on what exactly may be going on with me. I've always been one that believes in using how you are feeling as your guide, and if I stop these meds and continue on my excercise regime, I will feel better than I have in a long time.

Answer
First off, stay with your goals of quitting smoking and drinking. That stuff is absolutely horrible and belongs nowhere near one's daily activities. I'm confused by your resting heart rate, saying it would be in the 90-100 range. Then say it would be the 40's. These must be from 2 different time periods. Either way, they won't do anything for the 90's. Same for the 40s. They'll just mark it down as being in the 40s and monitor it for now on. Then administer medication later on.

I wasn't there for the stress test so I really can't consult too much on that. But it's fantastic that you lasted 11 minutes for the stress test. Usually, we get 8 mins and just call it good. I'm kinda curious what your ECG looked like as it was showing a possible blockage. Good to hear the angiogram came back OK for you.

Now about that ejection fraction of 30%. That is significantly low. You have to had experienced some drowsiness or tired. I have had patients with EF of 20-25% and they struggled to lift a finger.

However, since you feel fine. If I were in your shoes, I would continue the medication. Stay the hell away from smoking/drinking. And maintain the excellent exercise regimen. Do not stop taking the medication until you consult your doctor. If you maintain the exercise, the exercise will reduce the need for the medication.

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